Your Own Personal Toolbox – Priceless!!!

When Mami was about 11 or 12 years old, I created and facilitated a mother-daughter moon group. The purpose, and my intention at the time, was to combine a rites of passage into womanhood experience with some creativity, suggestions and have fun doing it with a group of other mothers and daughters at the same time in their life.

I felt inspired to do this because no one had done it for me – and I wanted to give my daughter, and other daughters making up the next generation, a head’s up about what was coming. You see, I had already gone through the transformation from girl to woman, from single to married, from no children to mamihood and I knew all those things can be a bit bumpy, even scary or discouraging at times.

It was based on my experience and the decision that I wanted to create an experience which would hopefully explain some of the body changes ahead. Something that would possibly set in motion some habits to guide a woman through tough and challenging times.

We did things like look at books illustrating the variety in women’s bodies, to show the diversity in what exists, and confirm that they are all perfect just they way they are. We also made up our own power songs, and created alters with items we found in nature or were special to us. We then integrated in items we created together, like each daughter and mother received a portion of a woven ribbon maypole project. There were also candles and other items we felt moved to include.

We did meditations, met our power animals, drew pictures of them and colored Georgia O’Keefe style drawings of women’s genitalia, among other things. All to help get them introduced to the life ahead of them and provide some familiarity, as well as techniques for coping with challenges and difficulties, so when they were no longer here with this group of friends and loving peers, they would carry a memory inside that stayed with them always.

As time has gone on, I have developed more and more of my own tool box – things that nurture, strengthen and uplift me through whatever may come along. Sometimes it takes a little longer than others but, since doing this, my life has been significantly more enjoyable. Things typically do not get me down like they did before, nor seem as overwhelming as they once did, because I have definitely seen that there is always a way to work through things.

The things that have helped me the most are:

1 – Listening to music that uplifts me and speaks to my heart and soul. I really like a number of pieces and people, but here are a couple examples of my favorites – Helen Jane Long, Roy Estel Hughes and Deva Premal.

2 – Dancing – you know, just turning on some music that will not allow you to sit still, and having some body shaking fun (usually best to do this alone or with small children so no one is inhibiting your freedom to really let go). Everybody likes such different music that this is up to your choice, but a couple I really enjoy are The Black Eyed Peas, American Authors and Pharrell.

3 – Getting out in nature – whatever that is for you. Go for a hike, a walk through the park or botanical gardens, or even a simple walk through your own neighborhood or sitting in your yard relaxing and watching the clouds roll by. It could even be gardening.

4 – Exercising – especially doing something you love to do. There is just something about getting all that oxygen into your body and sweating out those toxins while using your muscles that makes you feel good. It can also help make you feel better about how you look, as well as help with weightloss and muscle tone.

5 – Meditation – there is so much to be said for this tool. It can be used for calming, relaxing, rejuvenating, energizing or empowering you as well as inspiring you to create changes in your life, more loving relationships, and so much more. I highly recommend it. This talk by Andy Puddicombe, “All It Takes Is 10 Mindful Minutes” provides some interesting insights into it.

6 – Inspirational talks, books, movies or recordings – these can be such a great pick-me-up as well as something that helps me get back on track when I seem to have lost my way in relation to where I want to go. I personally really love many of the topics on Ted Talks. They have a really diverse bunch of topics like “How To Land On A Comet” and to “Let’s Raise Kids To Be Entrepreneurs“, and so many more. I really benefit, no matter what the challenge, from listening to the recordings of Abraham as well.

7 – Connecting with others – I especially prefer to do this in person, although I have had some pretty good chats over the phone through the years. Plus, in person you can get extra bonuses like hugs.  : )  There is just nothing like the all encompassing benefit to body, mind, heart and soul, when you can truly connect with someone, feel safe to open up completely to them, be heard, respected and cared for. If you have a loving intimate relationship, get extra hugs. It is pure magic.

I have been revisiting all these lately due to some extra stress in my life due to a combination of things like remodeling, getting married, some health challenges and changing jobs, which is a lot to do all at the same time, which is just a reminder that a good toolbox is something that will serve you your entire life and can be added to at any time one comes across some new beneficial tools.

I encourage all of you to take a few minutes and reflect on what things serve you in times of challenges and difficulty and start to resort to them when you need them as well as consciously collect them as you encounter more. You just don’t know when you will need them….

What are your favorite heart healing songs?  What are at least 3-4 songs that get your body dancing happily?  What books, movies or recordings inspire you and lift you up?  Who are the people in your life that you can reach out to when you need to chat or could really use a good hug?

Blessings to you and thank you for all the loving parenting you do, it makes a better world one Sweetie at a time.

Hug attached,

Koolma  : )

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