When All Else Fails, Maybe It’s Their Independence

Over my time now as a mami, for a little over eight months, I have noticed a pattern. Whenever Mr. Sweetie is going through a new phase of development, it takes me a little while to adjust. This means that I find myself getting a lot more frustrated some days than I really want to be, because things are changing fast, and all on their own, and I haven’t quite figured out yet how to maneuver through them gracefully and comfortably.

I have always known that patience is probably my biggest lesson in life, and it is for this reason that I both embrace and battle parenthood at different times: it is wonderful to be bettering myself, but that doesn’t make it easy, or even easy to swallow.

So, when, all of a sudden, being carried around was sometimes irritating to Mr. Sweetie, I found myself quite irritated. What do you want?! I wanted to scream at him, after hours of bouncing my relentlessly upset little fellow, to such low avail that my efforts were actually making him more upset than they were soothing him. And to think, just the day before, being carried and bounced was always the solution!

At the absolute end of my rope one afternoon, I finally felt like I couldn’t do it anymore. I unbuckled the carrier, and lifted it off over his head. I had to put him down. So I did, with some toys, and in a safe place. I turned away for a moment, gritting my teeth, and bracing myself for the pitch of his voice to raise to a deafening, angry screech.

It never came!

And so we each entertained ourselves in this way, within a few feet from one another, for about twenty minutes, the longest amount of time I have been able to set him down on his own, without any fuss, in his entire life. I glanced over periodically, surprised at how engrossed he was in practicing rolling over, enjoying sitting and playing with toys, playing games with me. And smiling! Suddenly, I understood completely.

He wanted his own space! He needed room to grow, and I had given it to him.

I felt like I learned a lot that day. I started thinking about being a mami in a completely different way; I could see the layers of my responsibility to this tiny human being as expanding, deepening, and I started to really see him as an individual. For most of his life, aside from a rare moment here and there, I had felt that Mr. Sweetie was just an extension of myself, a predictable extension. He was letting me know with his big personality that he needed the time on his own to put his world together, because, while he is my little sweetie, he is his own little sweetie, too!

I hope that some other mamis out there read this and heighten their awareness of these moments. From day one, I have been the mami who is playing with, holding, bouncing, rocking, feeding, living and breathing parenthood, alternating between being the shadow to Mr. Sweetie’s movements, and the leader of them. He needs me to be there for him, but he needs me to know when to let go, too.


Have you had a similar experience with your little sweetie? Were you able to recognize when it was happening and give them some time to learn for themselves? Please leave a comment in the space below!


Encouraging Empowered Mamis Everywhere To Do What They Do


Mami is an artist, aspiring entrepreneur, and first-time, full-time mother. She enjoys long walks with Mr. Sweetie, good food and cooking, her family and dear friends, writing, arting and crafting. She doesn't know everything, but wants to learn, and loves to do research and share what she finds. She thinks life is like a box of puzzle pieces: you keep trying until it fits, because every piece has its place. She owns and operates whatever she sets her mind to, and knows that the sky is only the limit if you haven't left the ground yet.

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