What It Means To Be A Mami

In the world today, a lot of comedy and humor has been put into creating the stereotype many of us have of motherhood: a woman, hair mussed and flying away, kid on one hip, holding with her free hand some sort of cleaning object (broom, mop, sponge), maybe clutching a fork or spoon with one set of toes, sporting a deer-in-headlights-holy-%#^@-expression on her face.

I like the fact that there is comedy galore in coming up with what she could possibly try to accomplish next, or add to her other foot to get more done. It definitely makes me chuckle! I also completely understand the sentiment it portrays, of attempting to do everything at once; consequently, that image of a frantic woman, overloaded, and overwhelmed, was born.

Though I appreciate both the giggles and the grit, I feel like the beautiful strength a mother possesses is often swept aside, unsung. These are special people who figure out how to exist in between a world based on a clock, and a world without any sense of time. They communicate both in sense and nonsense simultaneously. They give everything they  have inside, and more, to people who are only just learning how to give. They cry, sweat, and bleed for more than just themselves. They are the first loves of every single person on the planet.

As is probably plain to see, all of this dedication doesn’t just materialize out of the depth of our souls. It takes a lot of maintenance, breathing techniques, remembering what is important, and, above all, love. But there is something I have left off the list that I think is, very possibly, the most important thing of all: attitude.

I know that there are a billion and five people who say some variation of the following: “Attitude is everything.” There are days when I want to grab those people by their waistbands and chuck them into oncoming traffic. Part of that is because I want to disagree with their chipper and clueless poop-eating face. After all, chances are pretty high that this aggravating chickeny nugget of wisdom is coming from someone completely removed from the mami experience, who didn’t get just two consecutive hours of tear-filled, spit-up-covered, sweaty, exhausted noodle-armed, sleep. The other part is that it is so very true. And sometimes it is really hard to handle someone reminding you of the truth.

The truth is that a child doesn’t operate like an adult. The truth is that there is no way to get a child to do what you want them to 100% of the time. So, the truth is definitely that the only thing you can really¬† exercise your complete influence over, as a mami, is your attitude. I would venture so far as to say all of the frustrations we face in trying to be a consistently great mami can be lowered to the common denominator of ourselves. That doesn’t mean that maybe your beloved little Sweetie isn’t being the most difficult child that ever walked the Earth, and it certainly doesn’t mean that you have no rights to feel very, very irritated. It is the end result of how you allow it to affect your response, and that is such a small shift on the mami side that becomes a huge note of importance in the little one’s world

I always try, when I am having a hard time keeping my patience, to remember that the fact that I love this little person is the most important thing to me. I think about how much my brief moment of explosion, over for me so quickly, will affect his poor little self. He won’t understand that I am just a little angry; he will feel unloved and terrified of me. And it is my responsibility as the adult to be able to temper myself, and remember that I am teaching him how I want to see him behave in his future relationships.

There are times when you will feel more successful than others, and that is completely okay. Improvement is the name of the game. But, to me, having a sound attitude about it is the foundation of what it means to be a mami.



Encouraging Empowered Mamis To Do What They Do Everywhere


Mami is an artist, aspiring entrepreneur, and first-time, full-time mother. She enjoys long walks with Mr. Sweetie, good food and cooking, her family and dear friends, writing, arting and crafting. She doesn't know everything, but wants to learn, and loves to do research and share what she finds. She thinks life is like a box of puzzle pieces: you keep trying until it fits, because every piece has its place. She owns and operates whatever she sets her mind to, and knows that the sky is only the limit if you haven't left the ground yet.

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