The Week In Mami’s Musings On Motherhood

Good afternoon, readers and mamis! I hope that everyone has been having an excellent week thus far!

I wanted to share with you some of my week’s realizations about motherhood, and some of the ways that I am working to improve life overall, but especially balanced around my little sweetie:

  1. It can be very hard to reconcile expectations with reality. A prime example of this for me is school this semester. I know that I am an A student (with maybe, MAYbe, an occasional B). I like learning and I like studying and seeing the fruits of that. However, this semester for me is extremely reading-intensive, not to mention that one of my professors has organized his class to basically weed out the non-A students after the first test, and beyond that, there is no chance for anything better than a C if the requirement wasn’t met immediately. Well, guess what: despite all of my absolute best efforts, and putting every possible spare studying moment to good use, there was no way I could pull off meeting that requirement. For some, this might not be too big a deal. I, however, am pretty hard on myself because I know what I am capable of, so I had quite a few moments of being mopey once the reality set in that I would have to just accept the best I will get out of this semester, even if that means a C. I find, as a mami, that this is a daily challenge – getting to the point of acceptance of what is actually possible, rather than what I know could be possible if I had more time, more clones of me, etc.
  2. Mothering gets much more difficult when stress is involved. Finding ways to manage my stress has become one of the most important ways that I pass my “spare” time (rare moments on the toilet alone, or while eating a snack with Sweetie, or for a couple minutes early in the morning during a quick banana break while studying). Whenever there is a difficult event in my life, my overall feelings of “Yeah, I can handle this!” tend to fade, and so does my patience and ability to focus on my breathing. One practice I have been putting into play is allowing myself to feel my emotions as they come, not dwelling on them, but allowing them in, feeling how they affect and move through my body, and then letting them go. (Buddhist practice – pretty neat, right? Got it from my trusty book from last week) It helps me so much! Nothing is being stuffed down inside, and nothing is coming out negatively; it just kind of swills around in my body and then diffuses as it passes.
  3. When it feels like there is way too much to do in a day, stay home. Since we moved, I have been running and running basically every day – errands and errands and more errands. The problem I have noticed with that is that every day is far too short, everyone’s temper is far too short, and the list that I am trying to hack away at is not really shrinking at a rate to justify it. What I have been doing lately over the past week is designating days that I let Cisco take the truck to work, so my day isn’t broken up by having to drop him off and pick him up, and so I am not tempted to run a bunch of errands every day. It has made a huge difference – my days are much more relaxing, and I have started keeping an agenda again for every day of the week, so that the days that I am out and about are organized and I already have plans on how to tackle them. My time at home is also spent in a more pleasing way that involves very little opportunity for stress. One of the keys to this for me has been not putting more than about six to eight things on my list to get done in a day. So far, I am much more on top of everything that I would like to get done, and I have even found the time to start sewing again, plus I feel good about my day at the end of it! Everything wins!
  4. Discipline is difficult. Sweetie is very spirited, which means that he has a lot of energy (among things), and a lot of that energy is spent slapping, throwing, biting, etc. Though I can recognize that these things are ways that he is communicating with me – hungry, tired, frustrated, excited, playful – it doesn’t make them any less unpleasant when they happen. To top it off, he thinks that “no” is a really funny word, and takes it as encouragement to keep doing whatever he was doing to incite the “no”. I am going through putting together strategies on how to discipline him that I feel will leave me with the best results (taking Developmental Psychology right now is apropos), but so far I am still in the trial-and-error phase, which is difficult for everyone involved. I will keep you all posted on what I find works the best.

 

Are there any suggestions or experiences you would like to share with other mamis and readers on the above topics? Thanks so much for reading, and feel free to leave a comment in the space below!

 

Encouraging Empowered Mamis Everywhere To Do What They Do

Mami

Mami is an artist, aspiring entrepreneur, and first-time, full-time mother. She enjoys long walks with Mr. Sweetie, good food and cooking, her family and dear friends, writing, arting and crafting. She doesn't know everything, but wants to learn, and loves to do research and share what she finds. She thinks life is like a box of puzzle pieces: you keep trying until it fits, because every piece has its place. She owns and operates whatever she sets her mind to, and knows that the sky is only the limit if you haven't left the ground yet.

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