The Effects Of Active Parenting

C360_2015-04-17-12-23-47-837Over the past week, I have experienced a lot of internal change, some profound, some miniscule, but all of it in a direction for the better. It is always deeply humbling, not only to be reminded that being alive, truly alive, means recognizing opportunities for personal growth, but to choose to pursue those opportunities, especially when it seems a whole lot easier to carry on as before, and ignore them completely.

As the days pass, notched into my belt of parenthood as a mami, I recognize that I now have an even greater responsibility to embrace the aforementioned humility, a greater need to remain a student in the world that swirls around me. Because, now, and forever more, I am not just learning for myself. I am learning, I am improving, for me, for all my relationships, but most of all, it is for my son.

I place the greater emphasis on my son, because he is a bigger part of the future than I, able, with fewer years behind him and more ahead of him than I, to be a greater influence on a longer-lasting scale. The importance of my success as a parent in teaching him how he can make the most positive impact as possible cannot be stressed enough.

I wish that there were a way, to project the memories and experiences that parents have, onto those thinking of becoming parents, to give people a real concept of what it means to be a parent, because it is so much more than just conceiving another human being. The sex part of it is over in what will later seem like the blink of an eye, all too easy, and there are some people who are unable to extend their responsibilities to their new creation, to any distance beyond feeding, clothing, and housing them. But the word “parenting” is a verb for a reason; it is an active role with colossal implications. It means that it falls on the newly crowned to shape their little sweetie, to help them and teach them so that, one day, they can venture out into the world as a contribution to it, instead of as a tax on it.

Without the guidance of their parents, children are thrown to the wolves, in the form of other children, just as confused and inexperienced and new as the next one. Left to that device, outnumbering the teachers in their schools by the hundreds, they will create their own system, based on nothing more than the fleeting wisdom of the moment. They will be challenged to come up with solutions to miniature versions of problems in the real world, something they will fail at sorely if they are unable to be reasonable, rational, and assertive. They will create, or be impressed upon, their own set of morals, that won’t have as much to do with what it takes to make the world a better place as it will with what it takes to survive day-by-day. They will emerge, rabid, delusional, and centered on themselves, incapable of lasting love, incapable of empathy, entitled, to a world that will forsake them, all at once, and, perhaps worst of all, the cycle will almost certainly continue.

I had decided, when I was old enough to be able to see my own parents, not as all-knowing beings, but as faulted ones, as human, that my ultimate goal as a mami would be to see my children become better than I. The only thing is, I am the one who has to make that happen. It isn’t like they will wake up one day and have transcended the pitfalls of life; they will look to me to provide them with direction, and to give them everything that I would want them to give to others. If I expect my children to be able to hold themselves and others accountable, to repair what they or someone else have broken, so that the next time it is better than new, I have to show them how.

And it isn’t just the children who need a role model. It all starts with us, as parents. The whole world will benefit from every mother and every father taking the time to do all that we can to give our children the best chance in life. It doesn’t mean that it is imperative that they grow up, surrounded by money, to make that happen; it means that they grow up, surrounded by love and support and respect, by encouragement, by learning consequences, and by exercising their mental and emotional intelligence. Sweeties depend us to stay focused on doing all we can to allow ourselves, as their parents, to flower, so that we can pass on all that we have learned.

What I ask of you, readers and mamis, is to be that role model; demonstrate to the others around you that you are invested in the future, by nurturing that investment, and maintaining it, in yourself, in your children, and in your relationships with the people that surround you in life. One single person can change the world, because it all has to start with seeing the idea in action, and that action is something that every last one of us is capable of.

Plateaus are a nice place to have a picnic, but it is upward movement that conquers mountains.

Who inspires you, and why? What can you do to enrich yourself as a human being today? How can you establish a solid foundation for yourself and your child(ren)?


Encouraging Empowered Mamis Everywhere To Do What They Do


Mami is an artist, aspiring entrepreneur, and first-time, full-time mother. She enjoys long walks with Mr. Sweetie, good food and cooking, her family and dear friends, writing, arting and crafting. She doesn't know everything, but wants to learn, and loves to do research and share what she finds. She thinks life is like a box of puzzle pieces: you keep trying until it fits, because every piece has its place. She owns and operates whatever she sets her mind to, and knows that the sky is only the limit if you haven't left the ground yet.

You may also like...

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *