Mami’s Musings

Just a Mami, out paddling through the sometimes choppy, snake-infested, smooth, and sometimes sweet, waters of motherhood and life.

Just a Mami, out paddling through the sometimes choppy, snake-infested, smooth, and sometimes sweet, waters of motherhood and life.

1. When your baby naps during the day, nap with them (at least for an hour or two).

My son has a sixth sense for when I sneak away and he can no longer smell me next to him, and then I have to start all over with his bedtime routine and an increasingly more agitated baby. Yes, I have itches I cannot scratch during that time (laundry, cleaning, eating, wanting a few moments of silence without being needed), but I can accomplish them much easier when a) I am not exhausted, b) my son is not exhausted and screaming, and c) it is early morning and, having caught up on sleep at least a couple times during the previous afternoon, I can wake up and do a few things, not feeling as though I was run over by a steamroller the day before, while my husband and the baby are sleeping.

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The way you feel gazing into this picture is the way I hope you feel about yourself every day. Gorgeous thing, you!

2. Concoct a ten-minute beauty routine for your morning.

If you wear make-up, choose a couple basic things that brighten your face and help you to feel as though you have given a $#!& about yourself. If you don’t wear make-up, spend a couple minutes braiding or styling your hair. Above all, ladies from both camps, wash your face! Put on some earrings or another piece of jewelry, get some flowers in your hair! If you have even taken just a few minutes of time to get beautiful, retaining your patience throughout the day will be much easier as you won’t see a dirty ogre looking back at you from the mirror. Let me be clear: this isn’t something you are doing for anyone other than yourself. You are doing it because you love yourself, and it is important that you feel beautiful as you are going about your day. Feeling gross will bring you down.

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You’ll be surprised at just how many people are like these flowers, growing off of the same root system of experience as you.

3. Remember that you are not alone.

No one wants to cop to having a less-than-peachy experience raising children, but it isn’t easy (even if you have an easy baby/child), especially when you are accustomed to working full-time and this is a complete shift in lifestyle. One of the most important things is being able to get satisfaction out of things that no one else sees. Give yourself lots of high-fives. It can be difficult to be your own cheerleader when what you are accustomed to is mainly external atta-boys, and at least some of the time, you will feel thankless to a degree. No one else could understand how much of an accomplishment doing one chore in a day is on some days. So don’t wait for anyone else to give you the gratitude you deserve for what you undertake each and every moment of day and night. Give it to yourself. Make an effort to reward yourself at least once a week, even if it is something small.

 

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Any time you are feeling down on yourself, imagine you have sprouted wings like these — you are a mother! You are an incredible being!

4. You grew and birthed a human being!

You have done something so amazing, empowering, and beautiful, that requires an enormous amount of strength, willpower, and care. After pregnancy and labor, you can do ANYTHING! Bask in that knowledge when your resilience is waning. A mother is the closest thing to a God-like figure anything in this world will ever know, no matter what anyone else says. Prophets and priests are a dime a dozen, but can they say they underwent the creation of a human life? Not to mention the following 24/7 nurturing of that life for the rest of their life? That would be a no. But you, amazing, incredible, mother, you can say yes! Now go conquer the world!

"Let me lighten your load."

“Let me lighten your load.”

5. Sharing is caring.

The United States has it backwards, in my opinion, when it comes to families and the importance of supporting those we share blood with. Unless there is an emotional scar due to maltreatment of you by members of your family, or somehow you are the only remaining one left, reach out to them, especially the women who have had children! Even if they live miles away and can only be there over the phone or electronically, sometimes just knowing that someone who knows you has shared a similar experience can really lighten the load. If they live closer, maybe asking them to visit or making an outing of going to see them can help to put things into perspective. And if you don’t have family at your disposal, or even if you do, find another mother or few to spend some definitive time with every week, as much as you feel you need. One of the best things about being a mom to me is how it returns a person to a childlike state. Whereas a child can make friends with another child just on the basis that they are both children, mothers make friends with mothers even without needing anything else in common.