Keeping The Love Alive – Tips to Deepen Your Love Relationship


We all know that everyone has their own ups and downs, and so do relationships. Often the relationship ups and downs correlate with the ups and downs of the individuals involved in the relationship. Meaning that if someone in a relationship is having a difficult or stressful time personally (this could be the loss of a job, stress at work, illness or disease, depression or general unhappiness, etc.), it causes a strain on or difficulty in the relationship.

While many people can be very negatively challenged or affected by these ups and downs, if you really step back and think about it, they are simply an opportunity.

A message from the relationship itself letting you know that it needs a little TLC to grow deeper and sweeter. This could mean learning some new communication skills or problem resolution techniques, that the relationship is due for a remodel (assessing what is needed and adding more fun, taking some classes, spending more time with friends, having more creative time, traveling, switching around the responsibilities of the partners), or changing jobs to be happier, etc.

In other words, challenges do not have to be a deal breaker, the end of the road, or a wound that stays hidden, festering away until a much later date, gathering power as more wounds are added to the pile, til one day a big explosion occurs. They could be viewed more like a stop sign, a yield sign, or an under construction sign. They are simply a communication to let you both know something needs some attention and has not been getting it.

All that said, there are times when the communication is telling you that you are better off parting ways, but you can even do that in a respectful and tolerant way. It is all a matter of choice by those involved. Always keeping in mind that the health and happiness of both parties is the ultimate goal, and if things are just not working out and you can tell that you are both better off as individuals going your own separate ways, then do whatever needs to be done to make that happen – respectfully. I really helps to keep in mind being grateful for the time you have had together, the love you have shared, what you have learned, and how this relationship laid the foundation for something even better because of how it shaped who you are.

If working through the challenges feels like the right thing to do in your relationship, it can often be helpful for couples to seek out counseling (individually, as a couple, or both) to get insight from an unbiased third party, who is hopefully highly skilled and educated in helping people heal, communicate more effectively, and support couples to grow their bond and love as they learn about themselves and their partners and how to create a happier, healthier relationship.

My recent learning about and experiencing of the benefits of counseling and continuing to put a priority on the health and happiness of our relationship were brought about by a stretch of extra stress in our household. This was due to long hours and stress at work combined with challenges from a massive overhaul on our diet and doing a detox in combination with being overdue on improving our communication skills.

Fortunately, we found a therapist we both really like (this is very important!) and made an appointment right away because the health and happiness of our relationship is very important to us. Currently, we are at the beginning of this process, so I will have to keep you posted on any further insights and tools, but so far, it is a great experience!

Another suggestion I have is to visit the website of Gay and Katie Hendricks (here). In case you aren’t familiar with them, they are a husband-wife teach of therapists who have worked with thousands of individuals and couples over the last 45 years, appeared on Oprah and have written a number of books, such as “Conscious Loving: The Journey To Co-Commitment” and “Attracting Genuine Love: A Step-by-Step Program To Bring A Loving And Desirable Partner Into Your Life,” among many others.

On their site, they have several fairly short videos that walk you through some very beneficial processes to help you and your relationship starting today! (check them out here).

Whatever your situation, we can all benefit by taking some extra steps to improve our relationship with our self, our partner, our children, our parents, our friends, our co-workers and the people we encounter in the world. Check some of these suggestions out or find some of your own and make some moves in that direction as soon as possible, you might even prevent some really challenging interactions from ever happening…  : )

Blessings to you and thank you for all the loving parenting you do; it makes a better world, one Sweetie at a time.

Hug attached,

Koolma  : )

Have you tried working with a counselor or taking a couples workshop to deepen your relationship?   Are there things you are struggling with in your relationship right now that are telling you it needs some attention?

We’d love to hear from you!  Please share your thoughts and experiences in the comments section so we can help each other; remember, we are all in this together!


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