Dealing With Disappointment: Finding Peace In That Which Can’t Be Changed

IMAG0467 This past week has been full of a bunch of greater and smaller happenings that have all had the same message. Though I consider myself Agnostic, and don’t believe in any specific higher power, the things to which I have always paid the utmost attention and respect, are what I call my “road signs”. These are multiple events that all point in a similar direction, like when the same book is mentioned by several separate sources, or like the times that there are seemingly different events which all have similar outcomes. In the last seven days, I have had the opportunity to take a look at several different experiences and occurrences which have tested me in my patience and resolve. Namely, they were situations that made me decide I now need a mantra, situations with the central theme of disappointment.

If Mr. Sweetie were asking me what that word meant, I would tell him that disappointment is when what we expect to, or have been told or promised will, happen, doesn’t. And the addendum that I would exclude, so as not to squash his tiny self, would be: Disappointment is where dreams go to die, where hearts are doomed into an eternity of breaking, and where hope and the belief in everything good in the world just crumples itself up like a rank, grubby, diseased wad of used trash and bursts into a violent fit of self-combustion.

I guess any reasonable mami would look at this word and immediately see how silly it is at the very base of its existence. Even though it would be great to be able to rely on outside things to go our way, and it is so easy to become attached to an outcome that falls in our favor, there is absolutely no way to have a guarantee, so why do we expect it? In fact, I think, if there is any kind of guarantee, it is probably leaning towards the negative side, being that things shall most likely not occur as we would like them to be. No wonder there are folks who say that life is full of disappointment! It can be everywhere, in everything, all of the time! And yet, to even think something like that just feels about as dismal and hopeless as you can get. So what’s the trick? What’s the secret? I want to know how I can live my life, without negatively (and yet realistically, perhaps?) seeing disappointment in everything, without losing my sense of hope, and the desire for things to work out. I feel like this is a very fine line that I try to balance myself on when things go awry, and I want to do a better job.

Maybe the reason that dealing with certain disappointments is hard for me because I look at them in a linear way, and disappointment isn’t a linear issue. There is nothing linear about the chaos involved in putting your eggs into multiple baskets, each with their own separate brains, actions, and motivations. If anything, a mami may be more likely to win a lottery, or profit in a casino, than to have a day go as planned, perfectly, with zero hitches. I need to be reminded of what’s important here. Okay, let’s be honest here. I need to remind myself. And thus, I need a mantra.

So here is my new mantra, adapted from the Serenity Prayer. Borrow it at will, readers and mamis, should you care to:

 

Mothers that came before, grant me the serenity to find peace in the things that don’t give a single flying fuck about my efforts to change them, courage to modify and tweak the things that I am able, and the type of preemptive hindsight to know the difference before I get so pissed I implode. Chugging along one day at a time, holding close each moment at a time, accepting bullshit as the pathway to peace; taking, as the mothers that came before did, this fucking ridiculous world as it is, not as I wish for it, beg for it, or try to move it; trusting that the mothers that came before will make all things fucking peachy so long as I shut the hell up with my whining and just take it easy, man; that I may be ecstatically happy in this life so I have lots of practice for being ecstatically happy should there come a next one. Thanks a lot, ladies. Word.

Encouraging Empowered Mamis To Do What They Do Everywhere

Mami

Mami is an artist, aspiring entrepreneur, and first-time, full-time mother. She enjoys long walks with Mr. Sweetie, good food and cooking, her family and dear friends, writing, arting and crafting. She doesn't know everything, but wants to learn, and loves to do research and share what she finds. She thinks life is like a box of puzzle pieces: you keep trying until it fits, because every piece has its place. She owns and operates whatever she sets her mind to, and knows that the sky is only the limit if you haven't left the ground yet.

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