Challenging Family Moments – Life With Sweeties Of Any Age

For some crazy reason life got very busy, seemingly out of my control and then stressful today…

I thought I would have time to run a couple errands first thing, get back home, make a healthy breakfast and sit down to get my blog post done (in an early fashion), and feel not only impressed with myself but more and more peaceful – which has become a really big goal of mine lately.

However, as I was getting dressed, my son, who is visiting from out of town for the next couple days, called and wanted to see if I was busy. His previous plans to go downtown and do some legal business with his soon-to-be ex-wife fell through and he wanted me to go with him…  Of course, every mother wants to help her Sweetie (no matter how old they are), so I did a quick re-assessment and told him I would take him so he could accomplish what he wanted before his departure.

I compromised my breakfast by just having some OJ and coffee and taking off with my son, thinking I would be back home in a little while and move forward from there. However, we got downtown, were re-routed from the courthouse to a building on the next block and then advised of the process he needed to follow, which looked more costly, more time consuming and complicated than he may have time and money for. He started trying to figure things out and asking for help from other sources, but it was not coming together, so he got visibly frustrated and wanted to leave.

The more he talked about it and thought about it, the more agitated he became, but he hadn’t asked for suggestions, advice or financial assistance from me at all. I debated about offering, as I wasn’t sure if he was avoiding that option because he didn’t want to get me involved or because he was trying to be considerate, and I also was wondering if he really needed to deal with this on his own and experience the “real world” and all it’s consequences, but the “Mom” side of me won out as it looked like the hole he was digging was getting deeper and deeper. However, due to his frustration, anger and agitation, it felt a little tricky to communicate.

I took a deep breath and started talking. It all ended up going pretty well, he really appreciated the help, it actually looks like he is going to be able to complete all he wanted to before leaving town in the next couple days and relieves a large burden from his shoulders as he is deploying to Afghanistan next month and would not have been able to return to these issues for about another year. I reminded him to keep a positive attitude in all situations otherwise you might pass over a solution. (The mom coming out again…  🙂

He dropped me off at home to run errands and continue to complete the process. I thought I would now be able to move forward with everything even though it was not about 2:30 p.m., however I got a call and my ex husband wanted to stop by and finish some repairs he had been doing on our house (we get along well and he is an amazing contractor who continues to do work on our house). I did not think it would be any problem so I agreed it was fine for him to come by. He came within 10 minutes and started getting me involved in what he was repairing and talking to me as well. Then he got all worked up over something we were talking about and I was back into a very similar situation as earlier but famished from not eating at this time and starting to stress about not having done all the things I wanted and needed to do today!!  Sound familiar all you moms?  (I am sure the details do not match your day, but the general experience may be very familiar – day thrown off track by unexpected happenings. Other people/kids/babies getting distressed about life, possibly being pessimistic, discouraged, tantrum-like or even feeling like a victim and affecting you or even directing it straight at you…  Not fun!

Afterwards, I reflected on everything and thought about how we handle these situations and whether our frame of mind and abilities are in a “good space” or a “not-so-good space” really determines whether we will be able to come out the other side in one piece or a complete frazzled emotional mess due to the impact of the experience. From my pondering and looking, I found some insights for myself, and you, to help us all next time we encounter any of these types of situations, see what you think. Check out the following resources for pointers in challenging situations:

1 – 10 Tricks Successful People Use To Stay Calm in Stressful Situations.  Even though this is geared more towards business, I found it very beneficial to read and can totally see it applying to parenting and family relationships as well – or any stressful situation.

2 – 13 Ways Successful People Deal With Toxic Persons. Again, the title may seem like it may not apply, but I found some very helpful information – even if you just apply it to the cranky cashier at the grocery story, but my guess is that the info will come in handy to a larger or smaller degree in all kinds of interactions.

3 – 13 Ways Emotionally Intelligent People Deal With Difficult People. Another set of really great pointers (a little bit of possible overlap with the other pointers) and tying in with the concept of emotional intelligence which is a fascinating topic if you haven’t checked out yet, I would recommend you do.

4 – 7 Clever Responses To Stop Negative People From Whining. The title pretty much says what it’s about, but I really like their suggestions and can totally see them being basically applied on people of all age groups (kiddos included).

I am hoping these techniques, insights and nuggets of wisdom are helpful for you in your times of challenge, helping not only you but your family while modeling good tools and better communication skills to your kids (and the world).

Blessings to you and thank you for all the loving parenting you do; it makes a better world, one Sweetie at a time.

Hug attached,

Koolma  : )

 

Do you have any techniques that you have used to stay calm during challenging times?   How do you stay positive when difficulty seems to be all around you?

We’d love to hear from you, so please share your thoughts and experiences in the comments section so we can help each other; remember, we are all in this together!

 

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