5 Tips For Creating Time For Mami

Good afternoon, readers and mamis! This past week has disappeared quicker than a pint of ice cream in an wood-burning oven, and I feel like I have been living an action-packed symposium of nonsense. More than ever, I have been experiencing the burn of my lapse in creativity, and decided I needed to sit down, and pen the truths I have come to know for myself, when it comes to making time for what I love (or just really need to get done). My hopes are that 1) I now won’t forget and re-learn every week because I can physically refer to this post myself, and 2) you, all of the wonderful yous, can use them, too! Any mami, especially those mamis who stay at home with their little sweeties, know the importance of creating time to do something that takes you out of the all-consuming role of being a mother, and reminds you that you are still a person. These tips are designed to help you with just that.

  1. Shift your focus from thinking of time as a “block,” and, instead, as a “faucet.” The name of the game as a mother is availability on a moment’s notice. This means that there are lots of starts and stops in anything and everything you do. Picture your life as a table, and on it are a bunch of kernels of corn, the things that you do with your time. Seated at the table is a chicken, and the local five-years-running speed-eating champion. You, in the past, were probably the speed-eater: gulping down as much as you could as quickly as you could. But times are different; now you are the chicken, pecking away. It isn’t a competition anymore, so speed isn’t what’s important. All you need to do is just pick up those kernels one at a time, and, eventually, you will finish all of them. If you can get comfortable with this new concept of time, you will find yourself suddenly completing that painting, or writing that poem, or doing that laundry, instead of waiting until you have an elusive portion of time with which to do it in. It’s like a faucet: you turn it on and off quickly and easily. The baby won’t be screaming, and you won’t be scrambled.
  2. Pay attention to your baby and what it needs.
    I know this probably sounds counter-intuitive. If you are paying attention to your baby, that means you are spending all your time on them, right? Actually, it will help your baby to be happier, and also free you up to do things for yourself. An ignored baby will get upset, lonely, and probably pretty loud, and then it will take a while to calm it. Respond when your baby starts to make little grumpy sounds, pick up the baby, and dance around with them a bit. The next time you set the baby down for a few moments, they should be able to find some brief entertainment. Everyone involved wins.
  3. Take the time to figure out exactly what you are working with. Spend a week getting to know your baby. Keep track of their cues of hunger, sleep, and when they are craving interaction. Jot down what their daily nap schedule is like, how long it takes them to sink into a deeper sleep, and what things if any you can do or provide to help them nap peacefully. When you look at all of these things, you will begin to see those times when you are able to have a few minutes to yourself to do with what you will. Just remember not to get too attached to the routine, because anyone who has a child will tell you that they are changing and growing all the time, and so are their needs! The ability to have a general plan and understanding that is open to a little fluctuation will quickly become one of your most prized assets.
  4.  Make a commitment to yourself to cleanse your life. Think of it as budgeting your time to create more profit, or happiness. You get a certain allotted amount of time every day, every week, every month, and that is like your paycheck. What you do with that paycheck of time allows you to go into the negative or into the positive; it is completely up to you. So locate those things, people, places, habits, or behaviors that are pushing you into the red, draining your happiness funds, and find a way to say goodbye to them. It is very important to be honest about this, and not find ways of excusing it; “But they are my family”, “But then I won’t have any friends”, “But then I won’t feel loved”, or maybe even, “I won’t get laid”, for a few examples. If you take the time to think about how twisted up your stomach feels when you are in a toxic situation, you will realize that you and your time are much more precious than spending it allowing yourself to be treated as less than you deserve. My father has always said, “How does it feel in your gut?” His philosophy is that the heart and mind can become too focused one way or the other on whether something feels good, or makes sense, respectively. The gut is the true equalizer, and will be like your North star if you listen to it. The difference in the way you feel once you have cleansed your life in this way will be immediate, as you will suddenly find yourself with more time to create positive experiences, interactions, and relationships, that will influence you to be a happier person. A happier person is both a person who enjoys and appreciates the time that they have available to them, and someone whose imaginary budget of time is consistently brimming with profits, because no happy person wants to make room in their life for a bummer.
  5. Learn to multitask, if you aren’t doing it already. In an ideal world, sitting down to start and focus on just one thing, and see it through to its completion, would happen more times than not. These days, with a babe in tow, it is probably a lot more of the “not”. You are probably dying to eat that other half of sandwich, but have found yourself marooned, like a captain with a mutinous boat, on the remote desert isle of your bed, nursing and nurturing that little sweetie you’ve got. You are doing the right thing, you wonderful mother, you! But how would it be to be able to do TWO right things at once? Get creative, try some side-nursing, and attack that sandwich like I know you want to! Then, the next time you have a moment, you will find it to be sandwich-free, and, voila! More time. An exception I would tack to the end of this tip is as follows: make the time that you are spending interacting with your baby completely free of multitasking. They are looking to you to teach them about the world, and about how important they are to you. They won’t understand the “why” behind your concentration being split, and will probably feel a bit ignored.

With these tips in mind, I would love to see you go forth and enjoy! This is a beautiful time in life, and it is very easy to become so intent on your new role, that you forget you are an individual, who needs nourishing, just like your little sweetie needs the boob. Best of luck in striking the kind of balance that is beneficial to both you and your baby!

 

Encouraging Empowered Mamis To Do What They Do Everywhere

 

Mami

Mami is an artist, aspiring entrepreneur, and first-time, full-time mother. She enjoys long walks with Mr. Sweetie, good food and cooking, her family and dear friends, writing, arting and crafting. She doesn't know everything, but wants to learn, and loves to do research and share what she finds. She thinks life is like a box of puzzle pieces: you keep trying until it fits, because every piece has its place. She owns and operates whatever she sets her mind to, and knows that the sky is only the limit if you haven't left the ground yet.

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1 Response

  1. Rebecca says:

    Great advice!

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